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5.04.11 г.

Hякои мъжки правила

Постоянно слушаме за “Правилата” от женска гледна точка. Сега, ето и някои мъжки правила:

• Женските гърди са за гледане и за това ги гледаме. Не се опитвайте да промените това – няма да стане!
• Научете номера с тоалетната седалка. Големи момичета сте. Ако е вдигната я свалете. На нас ни е нужно да е вдигната, на вас смъкната. Да сте чули някога да се оплакваме че не я намираме вдигната?
• Събота = Спорт. Това е като пълноунието или приливите и отливите. Оставете го така.
• Пазаруването не е спорт. И не, ние никога няма да го приемаме като спорт.
• Плаченето е изнудване.
• Ако искате да разберете нещо питайте. Нека сме наясно по този въпрос: малките намечета не действат! По-сериозните също! Най-откровенните намеци също не действат! Давайте по същество!
• “Да” и “Не” са напълно приемливи отговори за почти всеки въпрос.
• Идвайте при нас с проблем САМО ако искате да го разрешим. Това е което можем да направим. Имате си приятелки които да ви изслушват.
• Главоболие продължило 17 месеца си е сериозен проблем – идете на доктор!
• Всяко нещо което сме казали преди 6 месеца не се брои при спор с вас. Всъщност всякакви коментари с давност 7 дни не се броят.
• Ако си мислите че сте дебели – най вероятно е така. И спрете вече да ни питате.
• Ако нещо което сме казали може да се интерпретира по два начина и единият ви кара да се чувствате тъжни или ядосани – то имали сме другото предвид.
• Можете или да ни накарате да свършим нещо, или да ни кажете как искате да бъде свършено. Но не и двете едновременно! Ако вие най-добре знаете как то трябва да бъде свършено – просто го свършете сами!
• Когато е възможно, моля казвайте каквото имате да казвате по време на рекламите.
• Христофор Колумб не се е нуждаел от напътствия. Ние също!
• Всички мъже виждаме само 16 цвята – те са цветовете които са по “default” на Windows например. Прасковата например е ПЛОД. Люлякът е цвете. И идея си нямаме какво е тюркоазено.
• Когато попитаме какво има и вие отговорите “нищо”, ние се държим все едно няма нищо. Знаем че лъжете, но просто не си струва главоблъсканицата докато разберем какво не е наред.
• Ако задавате въпроси на които не искате да чуете отговор, очаквайте отговори които не искате да чуете.
• Когато се налага да ходим някъде заедно, абсолютно всичко което облечете е добре. Наистина!
• Не питайте за какво си мислим, освен ако не сте готови да говорте на теми като Секс, Спорт или Коли.
• Имате достатъчно дрехи!
• Имате прекалено много обувки!

Благодарим че прочетохте това. Да, знаем че ще трябва да спим на дивана тази вечер, но знаете ли - това не ни пречи – че то си е един вид къмпинг.

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